Self-Sabotage

Why would anyone want to sabotage their own efforts? If we are more objective in the question, what is the motivation and logic underlying self-sabotage?

We have all gone through situations or we have known someone who could be very successful, accomplished, but instead fails in their goals through repetitive behaviors that are harmful to them.

It is not uncommon to have people in therapy who are desperately seeking to achieve a personal goal – such as being in a relationship, achieving financial balance, losing weight, achieving stability professionally – however, are somehow involved in behaviors and beliefs that indirectly or even actively prevent them from achieving those desires and goals. Not finishing what was started, little patience, irritability, making excuses, lack of focus. Self-sabotage is often unclear, can be subtle, and ultimately prevents achievement of goals.

What often happens is that there is a purpose. There is a positive intention, a protective and less visible need behind the self-sabotage. Behaviors indicative that at an internal level is trying to meet a psychological and emotional need. This need may not be recognized.

To present curiosity and to meet and listen the history is the first step to follow this long path of behavioral change.

Create space, trust and security for the access to consciousness, in a rhythm of discovery, with respect and internal clarity fundamental for the changes to occur, not as a struggle, but rather because it makes sense.

Reinaldo Diniz